My last post, if you remember, was in December and here it is April. Time has a unique way of being stretched and compressed all at once doesn't it? Many of you have been praying for me for the Lord's direction in my next step of life. This blog is to share what's been happenin' on the journey. As usual, pour yourself a cup of coffee and settle in for a read :-).
Chapter 1: December 2009
What a joy to be reunited with family, my church family and friends! So much to say, so many pictures to share, and lots of listening to "catch up" on their lives as well! I also undertook the project of finishing my log room and bedroom woodwork. Dad came over and we hung the drywall together, put on the first coat of mud and then I finished it from there. It is now a BEAUTIFUL room that has the walls, ceilings, woodwork and floors completed!! What a joy to sit in that room seeing with my two eyes the finished product what for so many years I had only seen in my "minds eye". My upstairs bedroom was just lacking the woodwork, so while I was finishing the downstairs woodwork I painted the upstairs and Dad and Andrew came over and installed it one day in January while I was at work! Once again it is pure happiness to the eyes to see my bedroom completed as well! I love the contrast of the light green walls and the white trim!
For several years now I have asked the Lord to give me a "word" for the next year that would be a primary focus in my daily spiritual walk. Past words have included faith, grace, and trust to name a few. For 2010 the Lord gave me the word: Compassion. Hmm, wonder what He has in mind for this year?!!
I continued in my earnest prayer (that began in November) to our Father regarding the direction of my next steps. No answer from the Lord yet. Many people asking, many people praying--but no peace in my heart as to where HE wants me to be. I think I know, but I don't want what I want, but what HE wants. Could they be the same? Would they be the same? What if....how come....when will....more questions than answers. A time of settling down from the adventure of this year into the routine of the coming year. I felt in my heart that I would return to Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch--I just was not sure of the timing or duration.
I looked up on the Web in Michigan horse ranch's that had a similar ministry as CPYR. There are, in fact, several in our state. There was one located in Jamestown, called H.U.G.S. Ranch, about 45 minutes away that I felt impressed to visit. My desire was to hang out with their horses (can you believe that I have fallen for horses so quickly? :-) ) and to be an encouragement to them as well. It was great to meet Jill and take a tour of the ranch and to chat for a while. I think it was one of the coldest days of December outside, but truly it was warm fellowship as we shared our hearts!!
Christmas was a fabulous time of the best cookin' ever (my sisters Pam and Donna and my sister-in-law Melissa sure cook up a feast for the holidays!) and lots of laughter and hangin' out! I really enjoyed the special services at church, and the Christmas play too!
Chapter 2: January 2010
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
I met with my previous employers Ritsema Associates in December for a job interview. Before I even met with them I had a job! WOW! What a blessing! As I shared where my heart was, I asked if I could return to work in the field and when God led me to my next adventure, to give a two weeks notice and then take off. Bill agreed and was (and is) very supportive of what God is doing in my life. This was my first answer to prayer--employment that would be steady, with the honesty of sharing that it would not be permanent. My first months were in a medical facility where I began the learning process of metal stud framing. My last month has been at learning facility in the medical sciences where I have been doing a lot of general labor as well as acoustical ceilings. Its been fun to work with the guys and see what it is really like to be a part of a building coming together!
I continued in my earnest prayer (that began in November) to our Father regarding the direction of my next steps. No answer from the Lord yet. Many people asking, many people praying--but no peace in my heart as to where HE wants me to be. I think I know, but I don't want what I want, but what HE wants. Could they be the same? Would they be the same? What if....how come....when will....more questions than answers. A time of settling down from the adventure of the last year into the routine of this year. I felt in my heart that I would return to Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch--I just was not sure of the timing or duration. I began to hunker down in the bunker of trust, of speaking the truth and leaning on Him.
I was invited to be one of the sponsors for the Teen Retreat from our church. What a blast! What a great group of kids! What a challenge from the speaker!
Birthday celebrations, dinner invitations and several sleepovers with my nieces and nephews kept me hoppin'. I asked my sister if I could help out in our children's program at church and she said Yes! Its great to be back with "my church kids" again! Yup, they've grown up since I last saw them, and their enthusiasm and love for Jesus is great to see!
Chapter 3: February
I continued in my earnest prayer (that began last November) to our Father regarding the direction of my next steps. No answer from the Lord yet. Many people asking, many people praying--but no peace in my heart as to where HE wants me to be. I think I know, but I don't want what I want, but what HE wants. Could they be the same? Would they be the same? What if....how come....when will....more questions than answers. A time of settling down from the adventure of the last year into the routine of this year. I felt in my heart that I would return to Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch--I just was not sure of the timing or duration. I began to hunker down in the bunker of trust, of speaking the truth and leaning on Him. This bunker of trust seems small, confined and not much fun. When Lord will you speak? Many memories and times of reflection going on in my heart from experiences at CPYR. It was a year of growth--deep growth-- and not all of it was easy. And, there were parts of it I still didn't understand and they bothered me, caused me to question myself, others and God. I cried out to the Lord for peace, assurance, and answers to my hearts hurts, questions and falterings. This was a time of choosing to be totally surrendered in ALL area's of my life. To not find "my" way of escape, but to look, ask, seek and follow His way of escape (I Corinthians 10:13). Words easy to write, but hard to live.
!!PRAISE!!!!!!!!!!PRAISE!! A man gave me a generous check this month which will cover my house payments....AGAIN---just like last year He used a lady to do the same thing! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How AMAZING is our Father? More amazing then I could ever dream--He is giving me life--more abundantly:
As John 10:10 says:
(King James Version)
10"The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."
(New Living Translation)
10 "The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."
Praise the Lord with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Psalm 40
1 "I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. 3 He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord."
I had the privilege of meeting with the Board at H.U.G.S. Ranch to share with them some of my story and have them ask questions of me regarding my time at CPYR so they could get some ideas for their ranch. What an incredible group of ladies with a vision and passion to use horses to reach children and their parents.
More sleep-overs, and good times hangin' out with friends and family.
Chapter 4: March
I continued in my earnest prayer (that began last November) to our Father regarding the direction of my next steps. No answer from the Lord yet. Many people asking, many people praying--but no peace in my heart as to where HE wants me to be. I think I know, but I don't want what I want, but what HE wants. Could they be the same? Would they be the same? What if....how come....when will...more questions than answers. A time of settling down from the adventure of the last year into the routine of this year. I felt in my heart that I would return to Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch--I just was not sure of the timing or duration. I began to hunker down in the bunker of trust, of speaking the truth and leaning on Him. This bunker of trust seems so very small, confined and not much fun. When Lord will you speak? Many memories and times of reflection going on in my heart from experiences at CPYR. It was a year of growth--deep growth-- and not all of it was easy. And, there were parts of it I still didn't understand and they bothered me, caused me to question myself, others and God. I cried out to the Lord for peace, assurance, and answers to my hearts hurts, questions and falterings. This was a time of choosing to be totally surrendered in ALL area's of my life. To not find "my" way of escape, but to look, ask, seek and follow His way of escape (I Corinthians 10:13). Words easy to write, but hard to live. I will NOT settle for second best! I will not compromise in my trust in my Savior! I will not allow the enemy a foothold, a stronghold, or even a.... A wise friend shared a true story that so impacted me. It has changed my life forever. It went something like this:
A family in Haiti needed a home and a man came to him and said, you can have my home--at half price--all that is in it, and all the land around it. The only exception is one nail above your front door. What a great deal the man thought, so he paid the price the man asked and gave him all the savings he had. A few years later the man came back and said he wanted his house back. What? You gave it to me and I am happy here, so is my family and I won't give it back to you! The man left, only to return a few days later to talk to the owner again. Remember, I sold you the whole house...everything but the one nail above the door. Yes, the owner agreed, you did say that. The man then hung a dead rat on that nail. At first, it was just an eyesore, an inconvenience, but quickly it became more than that. The flies and bugs and flesh eating animals it attracted were bothersome, a little gross and the decaying body was yucky to look at. Then, the stench. It became unbearable, and the family moved out because they could not stand to even live there anymore. The man who owned the nail came back and lived in his house once more. Have I given my whole life to Jesus? All but one nail? Just one tiny little nail that I keep for myself? One area of compromise--so small that it would never be found out, never come back to haunt me, never become public, never be more than just a tiny nail? Haven't I proved this to be true over the past months/years..that I can keep that nail hidden, a secret? Ah, but the enemy DOES comes back and says, that's my nail and he rightfully hangs awful, rotting, stinking, death on it. It invades the WHOLE house, just that one tiny nail. The "great deal" at half price cost the man and his family ALL that they had. The blood of Jesus was shed on the cross so that we can ask for forgiveness and be cleansed from our sin--and give that/those nail(s) to Jesus. What an incredible story! Very convicting.
This was a month for soul searching. A time of "house cleaning"--both literally and heart wise. Movies, books, or possessions that were "nails" were thrown out and forgiveness asked, and received. I surrendered relationships--the biggest area God taught me in last year--to Him including my frustrations, unanswered questions, and the inability to understand the "whys and how comes"--but giving, surrendering and asking forgiveness for each. It was a time of searching to find that balance of community in my life all the while having Him at the center and others in surrounding roles. Choosing to accept the beginnings and endings of life as good even when I don't have the answers. Realizing the peace from the Father on my life and to let go of all those unanswered questions and focus only on Him. It's a process--one that I have begun, and one that I pray by His grace and strength I will continue. I often wear a necklace given to me by a good friend in Oregon. When she gave it to me she told me it reminded her of the process of life--how the boulder opal was formed--and the inner beauty that is created because of it. So it is true with my life. Thank you Father for loving me enough to pursue after me with unconditional love without hesitation and without giving up. For waiting for me to surrender all my nails--which included my earthly goods, as well as relationships. And for You to create that inner beauty that is just a reflection of my Creator.
It was great fun to travel to Illinois to visit with my cousins and their families as well as spend time with my Aunt and Uncle. Never a dull moment that's for sure! Thank you Father for continuing to heal my Aunt. For keeping this earthly blessing around for us to enjoy!
I was challenged to explore other opportunities at our annual Church Ministries conference. This kind of surprised me--but I followed through with the Lord's leading. I sent out correspondence, prayed.... and waited.
Yup, more sleep-overs (can ya tell I love these times!!), church activities, and looking forward to spring!!
I was having my devotions on the 24th in the morning before work. Have you ever had the Lord speak to you through Scripture? Something you may have read dozens or more times before, but at that at time, on that day--it leaped off the page right into your heart? Yes, that is what happened that morning. Proverbs 24: 11-12 say: 11 "Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die; save them as they stagger to their death. 12 Don't excuse yourself by saying, 'Look, we didn't know.' For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve." Immediately the Father told and confirmed for me that I was to volunteer at H.U.G.S. ranch this year. That I was to be a part of this ministry that rescues those who are dying, those who are staggering to their death. We all make choices everyday--we choose either life or death. Deuteronomy 30: 11-20 speaks about this so clearly. I know the context is the children of Israel, yet the principles and truth are the same. God does NOT change--He is the same yesterday, today and forever.
The passage is long, but well worth the reading: 11 “This command I am giving you today is not too difficult for you to understand, and it is not beyond your reach. 12 It is not kept in heaven, so distant that you must ask, ‘Who will go up to heaven and bring it down so we can hear it and obey?’ 13 It is not kept beyond the sea, so far away that you must ask, ‘Who will cross the sea to bring it to us so we can hear it and obey?’ 14 No, the message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart so that you can obey it.
15 “Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. 16 For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy.
17 “But if your heart turns away and you refuse to listen, and if you are drawn away to serve and worship other gods, 18 then I warn you now that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live a long, good life in the land you are crossing the Jordan to occupy.
19 “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! 20 You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life. And if you love and obey the Lord, you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”
Matthew 7:13-14 is a New Testament commentary on this same subject: 13 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. 14 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it."
I was also led to Isaiah 58 which added depth and breadth and width to what the Lord just spoke through Proverbs. I won't type it out here, but I encourage you to read it for yourself.
This year I was to share at H.U.G.S. Ranch the life that is offered to all from Jesus.Verse 12 in Proverbs 24 immediately reminded me of my word Compassion for 2010. It is my hearts desire to be compassionate, and the Lord knows this, and this verse just confirmed and gave "feet" to my word for the year.
My heart just soared! The King of kings and Lord of lords spoke to me!! He answered my prayers, as well as the prayers of many faithful friends and family! The peace of God settled in my heart, and a bubbling fountain of joy sprang up. The time of waiting for direction was over.Chapter 5: April
So, here we are in April! I met with Lisa Carter and Jill Glass (the Co-founders) and chatted briefly a week or so ago and we are planning a time soon that we can sit down and begin to plan how and where they would like me to serve at H.U.G.S. Ranch. I'll keep you posted! I know I will be involved with afternoon horse sessions, and work with Lisa on assisting her with the ranch facilities. We talked of starting with the Ranch on full time volunteer basis the beginning of May so I can get to know and work with their horses and start my "other" responsibilities as well. My excitement and anticipation is growing!!
Here is a link to their website so you can get acquainted with them too! http://hugsranch.org/
Yes, there are a lot of unknowns--but there is peace in the unknown. I suspect I won't have all of your or my questions answered according to "my" timetable, but that is just perfect. You see, I am fully desiring to be on HIS timetable, and to follow HIS ways. Just in the right time it will all come together.
I would appreciate your continued prayers for the following:
1. For Lisa and Jill and the board as they seek God's direction for the Ranch this year.2. For people and organizations to know the call of God to partner with H.U.G.S. Ranch financially.
3. For my spiritual, mental, emotional and financial needs.
4. That I would be a faithful servant in all that I am asked/given to do on the Ranch.
Well, that about wraps it up for now...I will write more as the days go by! Thank you for partnering with me. I'd love to hear from you too. My e-mail address is heartshoovesandhope@hotmail.com
Keep smilin' and lookin' to Jesus with me!
2 comments:
So happy that you've received your answer, and now know what to do! We'll be praying for you.
Mary and family
Wow, what a LONG post! :) Thanks for sharing- looking forward to seeing what God will do this summer!
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